Mary’s Story

I tried restricting my fluid intake, but this led to dehydration and headaches. Then I cut out all trips of over ten minutes, which left me feeling isolated.

Dealing with menopause was bad enough, but when I found I was suddenly wetting myself without warning it was a nightmare…

It was in my twenties, after my first child was born, that I realized I sometimes wet my pants when I sneezed. I would make a makeshift pad from toilet paper and try not to think about it – until it happened again.

I had heard that childbirth could cause bladder weakness. The muscles get stretched and weak, but could be exercised back to full strength. So at the time, I started a toilet routine of peeing and stopping repeatedly, and I did internal clenching exercises. For a few months I wore a normal sanitary towel, changing about four times a day. It was expensive, but I eventually regained control.

Three decades later, when I was menopausal, my ‘trouble’ came back. This time my homemade solutions didn’t help; even sanitary towels weren’t enough.

I tried cutting out drinks, but I got dehydrated and headaches. Then, because I was scared of accidents, I stopped visiting friends for weekends or dinners out, which left me feeling isolated. Carrying around changes of underwear, wipes, sanitary towels, air freshener, fabric freshener and deodorant and always wearing dark, baggy clothes made me feel as though I was going on a camping trip, when in reality I was just going to have lunch with friends.

After 35 years of marriage, I even started sleeping in the spare bed! Finally, I went to my GP.

She explained about how menopause can bring on bladder weakness, but that there are special pads designed for urine that are leak-proof and smell-proof. The first time I bought them I was skeptical, as the sanitary towels hadn’t worked and these were even smaller. But actually they really do work and I feel much more confident.

Obviously I’d rather not have bladder weakness in the first place, but at least now it’s only the hot flashes I have to worry about and not embarrassing leaks.