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Incontinence and Sex: Talk to Your Partner

Incontinence can shake someone’s self-confidence and cause them to pull away from not only social but romantic relationships as well. Discussing leakage issues with a partner can be difficult and often leave one feeling too embarrassed to share their feelings, fears, and frustrations around sex.

Communicating with Your Partner

A frank discussion around incontinence may sound embarrassing, but it is a crucial step in making sure the problem does not affect your sex life. Though it might take some courage, all you should do is tell your partner that a little urine may dribble out. And depending on your level of leakage you may not even experience this and instead are fearful of the “what if” scenario. Most importantly, keep a good perspective on the situation and be honest with your partner about your feelings. There’s no reason to keep quiet about a concern, and you're likely to that this seemingly difficult conversation is actually received with kindness and consideration.

If a Leak Happens, It’s No Big Deal

Many have already experienced a leak during intercourse and it’s turned them off from being intimate all together. Getting upset at an accident will only serve to ruin the mood for you and your loved one. Laughing off an accident can even serve to strengthen intimacy and improve self-esteem with a partner.

Take an Extra Minute to Make the Moment More Enjoyable

Though a leak during sex might be messy, it’s important to remember urine is sterile. There’s no need to be concerned outside of laying down something to protect the furniture and keep confident. The key is to optimize intimacy and sex during our busy days and lives. Intimacy is the glue of our relationships, in good times and bad times. When intimacy and sex break down, the relationship can go into crisis. There is nothing wrong taking an extra moment to plan for an unexpected leak during your most intimate moments.

Here’s a consolidated list of some tips:

  • Avoid drinking – stay clear of bladder irritants for several hours before being intimate
  • Go to the bathroom – Make sure you void your bladder and remember a leak is ok
  • Protect the Furniture before hand - Put towels or underpads down and don’t worry about an accident
  • Take a breather – Between foreplay and sex, take a bathroom break
  • Experiment with sexual positions - try those that may not put as much pressure on the bladder. This requires practice to determine what works best.

It’s understandable to want to avoid stigma’s surrounding incontinence, and many would rather not talk about them. However, nothing should keep a person from having a fulfilling relationship with their partner. Take some steps to talk, prepare and remain honest with a partner. Not only do these practices strengthen relationships, they are also a bonus to one’s overall wellbeing and self-esteem.

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