Martin's story - Telling your partner
Read Martin’s story about what it’s like telling your partner that you’re dealing with urinary leakage.
HAVING TO GO EVERY HALF HOUR. IS THAT NORMAL?
Martin , 42
In the beginning I had rational explanations. I drank too much coffee. I had a few beers last night. It's really cold outside. But when I also started to leak after having been to the bathroom, it became obvious that I had to be practical about it.
I have no idea when it started. I must have unconsciously denied it for some time. The thought never crossed my mind. And when it did I still denied it. Incontinence? Come on! That only happens to old men and I'm not old.
At first I just used tissue paper in my underwear. It was only a few drops so I could manage until the next time I went. But after a while I started to use my wife's liners. They were self-adhesive and stayed put in my underwear, but couldn't absorb very much. And I worried about the smell.
The situation made me more and more self-conscious and my self-esteem suffered. I started to withdraw from my wife. I made sure we went to bed at different times. Being intimate was out of the question.
Finally I found the strength to tell her. And it changed everything. But not in the way I thought it would. I'm not sure what I had expected. Maybe that she would think less of me as a man, but the first thing she told me was that she was relieved that I wasn't having an affair! Ha! Can you believe that? This has actually brought us closer to each other. Having someone to talk to made all the difference in the world.
She made me see a doctor who gave me a physical examination and tested me for prostate cancer. Negative. He recommended exercise, bladder training, and protectors specifically designed for men. I have a package in the cabinet now and they are definitely more comfortable than my wife's liners. I wish I hadn't waited so long to tell my wife, but better late than never. It was such a relief telling her. I realized that I have nothing to be embarrassed about and that there are many solutions to urinary leakage.