A Guide for New Caregivers: Separating Fact from Fiction

It’s not easy being a caregiver. At times you might feel guilty, stressed, or anxious. It will help to consider what’s behind these negative feelings. Often, they’re caused by misunderstandings – myths about caregiving that become ingrained in the mind.

When you understand the facts, however, you can dispel those myths. Then you’ll approach caregiving in a better frame of mind.

Myth: "I can do everything on my own"

You may think: “My parents raised three children, so I can cope with taking care of one person.” But caring for an older adult with chronic or serious illness is not as easy as raising children.

This type of caregiving can be frustrating, tiring, or even overwhelming. It’s true that parenting is also hard, but at the same time you see a lot of progress and experience many moments of joy. In comparison, you might find caring for an elderly loved one who’s unwell a lot harder.

Advice: Never do everything all on your own. Get help and support from others. Talk about it with your friends, family members, neighbors, other caregivers, or professionals. Ask for help to make your caregiving easier.

Myth: "Finding the right people to help me care for my loved one is easy"

Fact is, sometimes it can be easy. Family and friends offer to help you. You find good health professionals – people you like and trust – right when you need them. And you know they’re helping to give your loved one the best treatment and care possible.

But it’s not always that simple. You might feel that the medical people, family or friends are not doing enough for him or her.

Advice: If you’re unhappy with any of the professionals or other people involved in your caregiving, look around for others. You could ask friends or more experienced caregivers for their recommendations.

Or search for highly rated health professionals online. In the end, it’s all about making sure that you and your loved one are comfortable, treatments are straightforward, and you’re both happy.

Caretaking is a physical, financial and emotional commitment. Learn about how to give your loved one cost-effective care.

Myth: "Everybody understands exactly how I feel and what I need"

It’s easy to think everyone around you can see that you’re working hard to care for your loved one. So, you might think they know how to help you. But that would be a mistake. Others aren’t in your world; they don‘t see all the different aspects of your work and life with your loved one. Sometimes they just can’t understand or read the signals you’re sending.

Advice: Tell others, in the simplest way, exactly how you feel and what you need. Be honest and clear in communicating your or your loved one’s needs. Don’t suffer because others have the wrong ideas about your situation.

Myth: "My loved one’s health continues to decline, so I’m not a good caregiver"

You may think, “if only I had more time to look after my loved one; if I didn’t get tired or angry; if I could get better medicine” – then their health would improve. But it may not be the case.

Advice: Try not to be too hard on yourself. You’re doing your best as a caregiver. If you have good medical professionals treating your loved one, and her or his health gets worse, it’s not your or the doctors’ fault. The best thing you can do is just try to make sure the person you care for is as happy and comfortable as possible.

Declining health in your loved one can take its toll on you. Learn more about how to deal with an elderly parents declining health.

Myth: "I have too many things going on in my life to be a caregiver now"

None of us are ever ready to be a caregiver. And when we do become one, usually we’re not able to give up our other responsibilities. We may need to keep working and raising our children. We’ll have to continue taking care of our homes. All while looking after an elderly loved one. That’s life.

Advice: Try not to worry – with planning, you can fit caregiving responsibilities into your life. Successful, experienced caregivers know that it’s best to organize their time. If you do that, you’ll be more able to handle your caregiving tasks, and balance them with your other responsibilities and interests.

Caring for a loved one can feel overwhelming, so it’s important to make sure you’re taking care of yourself alongside this new responsibility. It's completely normal to be on the lookout for new caregiving tips; it just means you care. Just remember, small, intentional steps can build up and make a big difference.

Develop a Care Plan

A care plan is a document that gives you a clear view of your loved one's:¹

• Health condition
• Care needs
• Current medications

It helps provide your loved one with the best care through:

• Clarity: With all your loved ones' needs in one place, it's easier to spot which ones should be priority.
• Consistency: It helps you make sure your loved one's care meets your expectations, even when multiple people are helping.
• Communication: It allows you to clearly explain your loved ones' needs to all involved in their care.

When developing your care plan, work together with your loved one and their healthcare team to create a plan that meets their specific needs. Also, don't forget to include the following:¹

• Medication schedules
• Daily routines
• Health conditions
• Health insurance information
• Healthcare provider information
• Emergency contacts

Find Support Networks

Caregiving is not a one-person job; it's important to get help where you can. Don't hesitate to ask friends, family, or neighbors for help.

Also, take advantage of caregiver support groups, local community groups, and online forums. People there have likely had similar experiences and could offer you valuable caregiving advice and help you feel heard.

Here are some caregivers support groups to help you get started:

• Family Caregivers Alliance
• Caring for Elderly Parents
• Caregivers Support Community
• The Caregiver Space Community
• Caring For the Caregiver Support Group

Use Available Resources

Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s one of the smartest and strongest things you can do as a caregiver.

Here are some caregiver support resources you could use:

• Respite care services to give you a break when you need to recharge. You can contact the National Respite Network and Resource Center to find the ones available in your area.
• Local services, like the Area Agency on Aging. You can reach them through the Eldercare Locator.
• The AARP Family Caregiver Hotline (877-333-5885) is a toll-free line for support and guidance.
• Caregiving apps like Lotsa Helping Hands can help organize daily care activities and those on your team.
• Home care services like Right at Home can help you care for your loved ones from the comfort of their own home.

Prioritize Self-Care

As you care for your loved ones, don't forget, you matter too. Neglecting your own care could lead to caregiver burnout, which can affect the care you give later on.²

Caring for yourself means:

• Setting boundaries
• Prioritizing your sleep
• Eating a balanced diet
• Practicing self-care
• Attending your medical appointments

Your self-care routines don’t need to be complex; they can be simple things that bring you happiness. Here are some self-care routines you could try without disrupting your schedule:

• Journaling
• Taking walks
• Spending an hour doing what you love
• Calm relaxing baths
• Watching your favorite movie or show

Caregiving is a rollercoaster of emotional highs and lows. One day, you might feel overjoyed that your loved one is recovering; the next, you might feel frustrated or helpless when they refuse to take their medication.

Feeling overwhelmed is a normal part of the journey. That’s why your emotional well-being matters as much as the practical side of caregiving. Build a strong support system, because with it, you’re never alone.

Recognize Signs of Stress

Recognizing signs of caregiver burnout early can help you get the help you need and provide your loved ones with the best version of yourself.²

These signs include: ²

• Feeling emotionally or physically drained
• Self-isolation
• Loss of interest in things you love
• Feelings of hopelessness or helplessness
• Weight gain or loss
• Frequent illness
• Inability to stay focused
• Mood swings or increased irritability

Implement Stress-Reduction Techniques

When you notice you are stressed, here are some ways to help you reset and recharge:

• Breathing exercises
• Exercise
• Short walks
• Practice mindfulness or meditation
• Journaling
• Quick breaks to catch your breath
• Saying no when needed and setting healthy limits

Seek Professional Help When Needed

Talking to a professional when you need more support or are feeling signs of caregiver burnout is a smart and responsible decision for both you and your loved ones.

Here are a few options to help you get started:

• National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): 1-800-950-NAMI (6264)
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 for free, 24/7 support
• There are also many online platforms for therapy that fits your schedule

Caregiving can take its toll on your emotional well-being. Learn more about how to deal with the emotions that come with caregiving.